truthdontcare

2005-12-06T22:27:00.000-08:00

Well shit. Here I am, late at night and haveing a second to post something quick and painless. OK, so lets see here.. Im working at Empire Vision now, awsome job, AWSOME money, and some new friends to top it off. Still without a man, but who needs one anyway? I chill with Alina most of the time, and sometimes with Ange, Amber, and Danielle. My life if wicked fun and going the way I want it to. Im moveing out soon, but Feb. '06. Adult-hood here I come. HaHa, I never thought i'd live to see the day. Well thats about all for the lovely winter month of December. Merry Christmas and I will get around to throwing something up in the new year. <3

2005-07-22T23:20:00.000-07:00

.Summer 2005>AMAZEING times
well guys, its been a wicked long time sinse i have even looked at my site, let alone posted. i was sitting here at 3aM after a long ass 12 hour day at fucking arbys board, so i decided to just pop a quick few words in while im on. yes, im still at arbys, and still out of school, but im taking my GED test soon and not long after that(fall) i will start my nuresing and humanites corses. yesss! im wicked happy about doing this. just think, by the time im 19 years old i will be working at the VA hospital with my mom and makeing really good money just to start out. i still live with mommy and daddy, although ALOT of changes have been made. were a much different family unit now a days. me and my mom have become best buddies, not that we werent before, but she now gets and understands me because these days we do sit down and talk and share secrets and help eachother out. my dad just came home from Bosten(tonight at 11pM) after being gone for over a month. he opened 26 new stores down there and still has to back in mid Augest to finish it up. so that being said, me, my mom, and my sister werent to pleased with him for awile, but the $8,000 bonus check he got was worth it in our, and his eyes. me and my mom fought every freakin day about who should have the car, when shes at work all day she doesnt drive it, right? dead wrong in her twisted eyes, i was forced to sit home every day i wasent working and do a whole lotta nothing but clean, read, and watch tv(passions! my one true love). super boaring! and she would come home at 5ish and depending on if i had to work or not i would drop her off some where or shed stay here at the house while i went to work or tanning, shopping, car searching and whatever i had to do for the day. and my god, let me tell you something about my mom, she a nut case sometimes. one minute i would be able to go someplace, and the next shed snap. bottom line.... im glad my dads home becuse now she can chill out and recoupe from the month. well yea, i supose i should be finish up so awile, just thought i would update incase anyone still reads this. well guys, i have work in the aM, catch ya later, maybe even next year! ;) im out-

2004-10-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

oh no! syracuse has become this cold, but sunny place. its fall now, and the suns still shineing, but none the less its freezing outside. me and ange started tanning this week. its so great getting out of school, and going to total tan then subway. my face is kinda red, and under my knees hurts but other then that im good. i cant wait until im all tan and stuff. im home today because my class went to a crunch game and im just not into that. yea, hocky(sp?) guys are hot, but sitting there cold is just not fun. so today im cleaning my house a bit, the hanging out with chirs. yes! chirs and jon broke up! so now who knows..... ???? :):) x1000! you have no idea how my face looked when nicole told me. but anyways, i have puss puss today. ange stayed over and brought her cat. this thing is so fucking annoying! it knocked my plant over, broke a shot glass, and fucks with my birds all the time. never again will this kitten come here overnight! well i need to clean and shower... i will post soon <3

2004-09-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

so im home today! this is because my jewish father forgot to re-wake me... asshole. i kinda do need to get to school, but i have wanted a day off so here it is! :) no amber for a day! yippie! lol. my mom has asked me clean the entire house for her. i can do that, i love doing that. because then everything is where i want it and the way i want it. i have a little bit of pot that im going to smoke when i get outa the shower then start cleaning this dump. i went to the teen center after school, that was ok. see, i hate that place so much. there are so many people i dont get along with. like, if i meet someone, and say hi, im matt, no1 will know who i am. but then i say my last name and oh shit! i hate everyone knowing who i am and what im about.. it gives me no chances. whatever. anyways, i met chris there and we hung out for a bit. it was funny, me and ange stayed as far away as possible by sitting next to the door. ha~ this whole chris thing is different. i always get what i want, and im not so shure of myself now. hmmm. only time will tell! the other night was awsome. im not writeing anything here because of close-minded assholes, but lets just say it needs to happen again.. lol... i hope hes not reading this. that same night i came home from dropping chris off and i pierced my tongue once again. see, sinse i got out of hillbrooke i have cleaned up a bit. i dont have 20 plus piercings. i have 11. and you can only see 5. but about my tongue.. i had it done twice for a long time. and i took it out when i got out, and then i re-did it more then 3 times. each time it was done in the wrong spot. see, if its to close to the tip it hits my teeth and doesent heal well, so i take it out. but i did it perfectly and now its here to stay, just like my old one. god damn dude, ive hade my tongue pieced for 31/2 years now. seems like just the other day i was calling my aunt and haveing her buy me mouth wash and icecream. <3 aunt becky!!! <3<3<3~ eating and talking are good. no problems as of today. i do need to stop my chain smokeing tho.. anyways, ange has GED class today until 2pm, so im home until then. after that i really wanna get chris and chill with him here.. i know ange wants to see elies today so maybe we can get chirs, drop us here, and she can head for liverpool... sounds good to me. well me and my birds are going to take a nice shower and then i need to clean.. i will post soon. and hopefuly get in the patteren of doing so. goodbye :)

2004-09-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

so its been almost a month sinse i have been online, yet alone posted... i miss this. but i dont have the time everyday to sit down and type out my thoughts... well, me and chris are "talking" again... im so happy about it... when i broke up with him i dint feel bad, but now, now i feel like total shit about it.. i miss him. and seeing him again made me see what i have been missing.. god damit! i want him back. i want to be able to kiss and hold him whenever i want. i want to sleep with him. i want to fuck him. i just want him to myself.... he has a boyfriend. and yea, it sucks.. today is their 1 month... and monday would be our 4 months. if i wasent so dumb!~ haha! and we told eachother that we wre waiting until 4 moths to have sex.. well thats all said and done! and yea, i loved it.. and no, hes nota cone. and yes, i like his penis very much.lol.. im pretty blunt about this shit huh? well me and angela are taking off to get nicole and chill or whatever.. post soon!!

2004-08-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

well lookie here! im back :) whoot whoot. summer was awsome. dude, i loved every second of it. and now that its almost over i want it back. today was so cold, shit, cold means school is starting! haha! i passed summer school and now im off to CNS. honestly i can wait. i hate school, and now me, matthew, going to a new school sucks. hmm. i was reading my last post and it had something about chris in it. well guys, me and chris are no longer. ha, fucking piece of shit bastard! i hate him and his cone penis. speaking about new found hate, me and mikey no longer speak. it was his choice. dude, its all over me telling is midget boyfriend that we fucked. and of course mikey fronted and lied his little ass off. lovely huh? so now i look bad. but really, i could care less. things are better this way, really they are. i have angela, sarah, taco, and ashlie. and now everyone from my work. god, i love them, working at Arbys is awsome. everyone is so fucking retarted and great! im at anges house rite now. i stayed the night. dude, her mom got us a bottle and i dint even drink! i started to but then i puked so i stopped. we were so excited to drink, and then i ruined it all. fuck me! hmm. but hey, were polishing off the rest of the bottle within the next week weather i like it or not so whatever. anyways, weather you wanna belive it or not, my life is getting alot better. my job is god in my parents eyes, and at last i realized that friends are not everything in life. yes, i love them dearly, but there are thousends of other things i worry about now. no more mikey is pretty awosme. but still really sad. whatever tho. things are so much better this way. and hey, maybe down the road we will chill and start to talk again, but until that day i can wait! i have also come to see that haveing a boyfriend is not needed. at this point in my life i truly dont think i need one. i mean, yes, it is very nice to have someone to be with and care for, but i have so many other things right now, and i dont need a guy telling me not to smoke pot, drink, or do what I do. and what i do is bad. haha. yes, i still smoke tons of pot. and sinse mikey broke the ice with my mom, me and her smoke every day faithfuly. and i love it. it brings us 10x closer. sounds kinda funny, huh? all parents should toke with their pot smokeing teenagers. they really fucking should. anyways, this winter me, my dad, and angela are re-modeling my basement so i can move into it. i will have my own little house inside a house. and to make it better, ange might move in to! that would be so fucking awsome!!! the basemet is pretty big to. and it has a BATHROOM! something i have wanted sinse i lived in a crappy ass ghetto trailor park!! my own appartment, the sound of that makes me wet! haha! i cant wait. right now my family is paint my living room and then moveing onto the kitchen. were remodeling that to. and home depot steve is doing it. god, its gunna take FOREVER! lol. hey, at least he tries. well im gunna try to awaken ange and get the day going. i will post soon. bye*

2004-06-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

so yea, its been a great wile sinse i have posted, but i have been wicked busy lately.... like, super busy...! i have a boyfriend now, so yea, thats something new that im gettintg used to... takes some time. things are going perfect between us. and im loveing every second of it..its the best. me and cheeb unit are still toghter 24/7. its summer now so yea, never apart.. i took all my finals this past week and they all went pretty good. i hate takeing them tho, they put lots of pressure on me and shit. lol. but its summer now and its great. oh, corn bought me and angela matching purple bongs! i love 'em, they work really good. anyways, im gunna go call chris and go to bed. <3

2004-06-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

so yea, i just came home from camping all damn weekend. its ok i had a good time with my family for once. i missed cheeb unit alot and chris. dude, i think about him ALOT, like alot alot.. hmm. its a good thing tho. :) i miss him. damnit. lol. ima go to bed now. im wicked sleepy, but i have to bleach my teeth agian. lol. im fake!

2004-06-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

fuck this fucking house. im so pissed right now. uhhh... everything sucks and has sucked sinse i came home from florida.. their cunts! dumb cunts. bolth of them, all i hear everyday all day is "get a fucking job matt". im really sick of it. i had a cell phone bill to pay today, but wow, i dint pay it. i had to put money in angelas fucking gas tank because thats what i do.... i thought i needed to put 4 bucks in, and buy a pack of newports, thats 9 dollars total. thats nine less that what i had, so in return i dint my bill paid. because im dumb and waist my money on whatever i want at the time. fuck me man. im in a really bad mood, have been for awile, but who cares?? no one, thats who. at least i can bitch to chris about this dumb shit. hes so sweet :):) fuck mikey dude. he pisses me and the rest of cheeb unit off way to much. im not saying i dislike him, but he fuckes with me way to often and i just take it because i have to. but nope, done, no more of that bullshit. i had a little talk with angela and lee and yea, they agree with me 100%. lol... but yea, i miss chris. alot. alot alot!! i get to see him for awile tommarrow.. !! yes! lol. im getting him from the teen center at like 4:45pM and were comming here, i think... im not quite shure yet. so yea, im going to burn a few cds and just chill for the rest of the night. whoot whoot.!! lol. chris, i miss you and i cant wait to see your ass! lol. ;)

2004-06-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

im wicked board... ange is waiting for the mailman then comming here. we have to do a ton of shit. i have to pay this god damn cell phone bill on my own so i went to the bank and took $70 out of my saveings for my car... damn, i hate doing that! i cant wait to see chris tomm.. his mom found out about us dateing and she went ape shit on him, she needless to say shes a cunt and she hates me. why tho? im nice, i can suck up... fucking bitch! but hes going to camp with kelly today after school. i had my heart set on seeing him today, but whatever. i can deal with the extra day. well i have to do my hair and scrub my arm... i re-did the "M" on my sholder.. holy blood and pain. but yea, im off..

2004-06-06T19:48:00.000-07:00

ok, im really going to try to make this one of those long posts that i hate writeing because i have alot to say but never feel like sitting down and writeing a post and shit. this past week have been crazy, like more then normal crazy.. stress stress stress... joe have cancer. we have a stray cat that we cant keep. my parents are CUNTS and im just not in the highest of spirts lately.. on the bright side of things tho, i have a boyfriend! i adore this idea. i do i do. its so good haveing someone again. like, the second he said yes this feeling of comfort came over me and i dont know how to explain it. just this amazeing feeling of comfort and stuff. im so happy. i hope this last awile. god i pray! i really do like him. dispite what most of CNS may think. assholes. but yea, thats like the one and only thing im excited about these days. hey, at least i have something to look foward to everyday. or whenever i get to see him. lol. hey, its gunna work. and if not im makeing it work, im not loseing chris to anything or anyone. hmmm. my house is nuts. all i hear is "matthew, get a fucking job".. well ya know what mom, suck my pink fuzzy twat! im sick of hearing that. like really uber sick of it. i have been trying, i have, but its not enough... fuck the job market. but i cant deal with them. and plus they said i cant do anything until i get one. so now that i have chris i need to be a good boyfriend and see him, meaning i need to get a job to be able to do so. so last night i went to topers house. we chilled in his room for awile. i loved it. so much. then i came home and we talked on the phone for awile and i went to bed. i have no remote for my TV so i dont really know whats going on in anything. music, movies, wars, anything. wow. how odd! im beat. i need to get to bed soon. i think im gunna go and sleep. haha! half this post is about chris, how funny huh? lol. goodnight everyone..

2004-06-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

quickly, very quickly....
i have a boyfriend! whoot whoot! and so does mikey! yay for us.. lol.. me and angela drove to mexico for the day and yea... lol... so today im doing jack shit. i will post more when i have the time. <3

2004-06-02T21:37:00.002-07:00

had a fairly good day. i went job hunting and such with my mom and then with ange.. smoked some pot. chilled.. so nothing great.. oh, i seem to like chris again. like really like, not thinking i like, but really likeing. lol. im so stupid. i hope he has some of the same feelings that i have towards him ya know. its great when stuff like that works out. :)

2004-06-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

2004-06-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

man oh fucking man. lets see here, chris is talking about dateing me, im franticly looking for a job, and i have a fucking keiloid. fun huh? im super happy about the entire chris thing, even tho dateing him would send everyone into a uproar, it still would be fun to have dave davis bitch me out and me just look at him, turn around, and swing back and knock him on the ground... oh what a dream! lol. mikey came over last night. he took a sheet of skittles in the parking lot of total tan then we went to my house and tripped toghter. it was fun! and yea, i talked to to chris wile i was trashed, but whatever. i ment whatever i said.. lol. i did! angelas brother is really sick. i feel bad for everyone because they dont need that shit. liz and ange being really sick was bad, but haveing joe be ill is super wrong.. and i think for once ange is kinda upset about it, like, for once i see her wanting to know more and talking about it and stuff. its good. im glad to see that. lol. well its 9aM and i have to start cleaning and such.. i have to go to Wendys after school... grrr... haha. but i need a job AND that $100 hireing bonus.. pray for me :):)

2004-06-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

i am so happy now. chris made my day. im his cutie

2004-06-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

well hi. i havent posted in quite awile.. i have been wicked busy lately.. this entire past weekend i have been at camp with angela and rose. lee came up for one night, but nance made her come home. cunt. i love camp. dude, we were all so fucking happy this time there. we dont know when were going back yet, but im shure it will be soon.. this computer sucks ass! its all upside down and stuff.. i think it has a virus or something. grr.. my new tattoo has healed.. it looks super good. im still in love with it. i took out my other 2 belly rings tho.. i was getting sick of them. ahh.. i need a JOB!! like really super bad.. i have been living off the bottle return and my moms change. its not so simple ya know? i have been really upset lately. everytime i think about certin things my mind wonders and i get all mad. like, beating anges car mad. whatever. i will get over it, i always do..

2004-05-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

DAVE IS GUNNA FUCKING GET IT

2004-05-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

well goodmorning. last night was fucking awsome. we had a huge thunder and lightning storm all night. i was tripping so it made it 10 times better for me. my fucking power went out so i just assed out and went to be around 1aM.. i havent been doing anything really new or exciting lately. just hanging out with everyone and chilling. im looking for a job, dispite what my asshole parents say. im so sick of hearing them bitch and moan about it. they told me that i get nothing until i get a job, well nothing it is. im broke, i have no cigs, and no money to buy anything. i hate this. but whatever. sooner or later i will land a dumb job and work like the rest of the world.. fuck the rest of the world. lol. mikey has been sneeking out and seeing us. im so happy hes not away. lol. rehab mikey?? lol.. but ima go because i have to pick up this dumb and then take off whenever angela get outa school.. bye.

2004-05-23T18:39:00.000-07:00

haha!i just got home and im tripping my fucking ass off... lol. i need to get some sleep sop i gunna go and do so. i will be wrteing more later...

2004-05-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

my mikey is gone from the cheeb unit. :( what the fucking fuck?? he needs to be home soon. ima post later.

2004-05-20T05:34:00.000-07:00

ok, so im home this morning.. last night cheeb unit got drunk so mikey had to stay at my house for the night. he hasent been to school in 3 days.. haha. who knows if he'll ever go again. im shure he will but eh? im still drinking this morning.. hmm. i woke up around 7aM. i got my morning off to a fucking GREAT start. im going to have a really good day. i need to smoke. im so fucking broke its not even funny. every penny counts guys.. every penny counts! lol. but i know i can do some work for my grandma today after school and make some money. im really sick of my parents bitching and moaning about me getting a job. i need a job. really uber bad. but i dont know why im not trying to get one, im trying, but im not... i dont know. im going to go and get my day started. my cat just took a shit in the corner so i have to clean that. fucker!

2004-05-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

oh yea.. i forgot to tell you. i got my birthday tattoo 2 days ago!! im so in love with it. it itches and i love it. i got it in the same place as my mom has hers, on the middle area of my leg.. i like it there. the colors arent here, but the center is a dark blue and it fades out into a lighter blue shade. i will take some pics when i get my camera out. thank you mitch <3

2004-05-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

so this weekend was the shit!! man, i loved it so much. camp is awsome. i love going there and im going this weekend!! :):) so yea, things have been going the same. i chill with cheebUNIT everyday! i love those guys. im like going nuts with not going home tho. like, sometimes i need time alone to be by myself and chill for a bit. but whatever. i wanna be with yekim wicked bad. ugg. haha! oh well, im good at not haveing feelings so whatever. i can hide it :) lol. but im a slut. i had sex with some random guy last night. and to prove it i have the biggest nastyiest hicky ever. eww. i hate them things. well i like it, but the after math blows. mikey sucked my neck today. i liked it. lol.. so im like really super duper broke, i need to get a fucking job soon. pizza hut here i come!!!! lol. ima hate it but i HAVE to do it. my crew depends on money for gas and weed and food. lol. stoners. but im gunna shower and go to bed early :) goodnight*

2004-05-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

im alive, well kinda. im tripping right now. so this weekend was the best ever. me, ange, and mikey went to camp for 2 nights and had the best time. the first night we were so fucked up. like, we dint know who we were. lol. but ima post more soon. goodnight!

2004-05-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

ok so to start off things have been going pretty damn good. besides the fact that i have nothing i want and im lonely, things are gravy! lol. yes, im lonely, who knows why, im with people all day long. but the one little simple thing i want i will never get. its so fucking simple. really, it is. but at the same time it means so much because that would mark a point in my life where EVERYTHING was perfect. perfect meaning a boyfriend, stable home life, school(grades), and good times with my crew. i know everything else will be fine. but im not going to have any boyfriend anytime in the near future. im not shure what it is about myself. im weird when it comes to the whole boys and dateing bullshit. i mean, boys are nice. i love them and all. but dateing them has and always will hard for me. i relate SO much better to females then males. its always been like that. im just somewhat scared of dudes. like, 90% of my best friends are girls. then the other 10% is mikey. lol. i love mikey, i really do. so much. and everytime something happens between us i wish that we could be toghter and be happy. but nope. never gunna happen as far as i can see. and i hate that. like, we will have sex. be done and go back to our normal lives. i like it that way or whatever. but the sex lacks a certin feature that i know mikey is not willing to give, a simple kiss. its so fucking easy, BUT i know where hes comming from when he doesent. if you kiss a person, and or make-out with he or she, you will fall for that person. im not here saying that mikey will fall for me, but you get the idea. i know it sounds crazy, but sex is sex. male female, sex will always be sex. when you fuck someone and care for them, you would kiss them correct?? and everyone knows that those unexpected kisses makes things 100% better. they take away any fear you may have, they make you feel loved and happy inside. and i fucking need and want that damit!!! lol. im going nuts not knowing whats going on around me. and i hate it. i wish a was never such a dick head to him wile we toghter. things would have turned out so different. and maybe even better. but everything happens for a reason right? anyways, lets talk about school. school sucks asshole. i hate my fucking teacher with all my heart and soul!! hes a cock to me and i yell at him daily. im getting good grades for once tho! i do my work, come home, smoke with mikey, he leaves and i do homework. thats it. lol. the family is all happy. the only reason for this tho is the fact that we all lead really different lives and we tend not to get mixed up in eachothers.
i started taning again! i love it. i do i do i do!! lol. im a mexican! i have been thinking about semi lately. do i wanna go?? or do i wanna chill at my house and meet everyone for the after parties? thats a big choice considering i hate nsjh and all the little slut bags in that dump. if lee and ange want me to go, i will, but for no other reason will i. semi blows. you dance in a small gym with 200 other sweaty people. and id be high or something so everything would be on my nerves. grr! i dont know tho. its not like its my first semi. ive been there for 3 fucking years, ive gone to 2 semi formals. ive seen all that nsjh as to offer. and thats not much when you think about it.
im getting my third tattoo on friday. i really cant wait!!! im going to love every min. of it. and im uber happy that my mom is letting me get it on my leg, rather then be hidden. lol. knee?? im getting a blue tribal moon with some stars and maybe some more stuff. everyone knows how much i LOVE the moon and stars and stuff like that! as for my piercings, i have 15. a shy cry from what i used to have. i have no plugs. no labret. all i have is my nose x 3, my ears 3 each, my tongue, my nipples and my navel project. but im happy with that. i used to be know as the kid with all that shit on his face. but now im me. matthew. the preppy pot head with a bad rap. and im happy with that name. i am. lol.

well i wanna go taning, angela and lee should be hear anytime now. i will post some more when i have the time. this was loong. longer that ive done ina wile. <3

2004-05-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

ok. so its like 2aM and im awake waiting for alina and my drug test piss to get here. thanks to lee i had to ask her to do it for me. anyways, i was gunna spend awile writeing alot here, but im kinda tired so it will wait. <3 night. oh, new crappy summery rainbow layout. bye*

2004-05-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

suck my fucking pink juicy twat! im so tired. i need one extra good night of sleep. but not tonight. tonight is the party alina and that crew are giveing me :) today me and ange hung out. i got a new bowl. i love it.. <3<3<3 lol. so im gunna go eat dinnner and post more later :) bye*

2004-05-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

so whats going on today?? nothing. thats what. haha! i had a pretty good day all in all. i woke up at like 7am and went with ange to the city to pick up tim. ya know, im really sick of tim. like REALLY fed up. but im nice so i choose not to say anything. he somewhat "controls" angela with "who put all the stuff in the car" or come on, whos does this or that. fuck you tim, fuck you. im sick of he attitude. lol. whatever. i hope ange just doesent change because of him. she better not. last night alina, lee, and rose came over and they bought me a awsome birthday cake that said happy birthday princess matt with a gay pride rainbow. i loved it so much, but i had to eat half with mikey :) this friday im going with my mommy to halo tattoo and getting the piece on my leg! i cant wait! i want mikey to come with me. it should be a good time. well im going to clean my room so i can have everyone over in a bit.

2004-05-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

[edit]ok, new PINK layout. yes. im a fag. yes. i like the color pink. yes i am a princess. no i dont care :)[/edit]
k, so i just came home a day ago. i had the best time in florida, i really really did. but its good to be home, smoke weed, and be with my unit for once. lol. im burnt. i went looking for a fucking JOB today. whoa, im really gunna work how weird. i had the best fucking sex today. it was fucking awsome! smack my ass and call me a nig! haha.. i dont feel like writeing.. im going to be, hafta be up @ like 8am..

2004-05-04T15:27:00.000-07:00

ok, so here i am in florida. all alone with nothing to do but be with my family.. and im not so good at doing that on a daily basis. plus, its not like i can sit online all day because the computers they have here you have to pay to use.. so it sucks. the pot i smuggled down here is all gone, BUT Florida has tons of skittles so i have and still am tripping. i love it. the weather is hella nice. i went to disney land today fucked up. i was so gone, i have tons of pictures of me and different shit. haha, gotta love florida. i miss everyone alot and its only the first full day here for me, ahh... i miss the CHEEB UNIT! im buying everyone something wile im down here. i bought this wicked awsome gay pride braclet today. i also met some really really cute gay guys, but they were a couple and yea, thats not cool.. lol. right mikey?? yea.. so i miss everyone. tonight im gunna go walking in serch of something to do. i went to get my birthday tattoo yesturday but i freaked out and left. i dont know if i wanna get it here, or wait until i get home.. hmm. we'll see! haha!! i hate this keyboard. im gunna go now. i love you guys! Cheeb*UNIT lol, oh lee, TAKE FUCKING CARE OF MY BOWL AND DONT SCRAPE THE THING! thanks... bye

2004-05-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

And Off To Florida Matthew Goes
so its 9pM and my flight leaves at 6aM. im getting up at like 5 and heading to the air port. im bringing weed with me. i know its not the best idea ive had but i need it. im going to get some sleep. im gunna miss Cheeb*UNIT so much. im gunna call you guys every night :) love to all. have a good week!

2004-05-01T21:59:00.000-07:00

i have everything i want and more. i got mostly everything i wanted and more. im so happy you dont even know man. pancakes! lol. im so stoned. im leaveing for good old florida in less then 24 hours! haha! i cant wait! lol. i have the internet down there so the site will be alive and kicking.. lol. as of now im redy for bed and lee wants me to come out and party. fuck fuck fuck! lol. idk. to bed i go :) <3 night all. <3 2 YOU!

2004-04-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

ok. so i hung out with angela, tim, and lee all day. i had alot of fun. its so good to just chill and do nothing all day but smoke weed and eat fast food. im getting pretty tan. well red. but it will in time devolpe into a good tan. haha! mine and anges bodies were so itchy and painful today. well im going to talk with my family and everyone else that is here. im going to florida in 2 DAYS!! :):)

2004-04-29T15:05:00.000-07:00

whoot fucking whoot! im reder then a used tampon! lol. i really do resemble a used tampon tho, you should see my fucking pelvic bone area, its super scary red! lol. im not going taning for a day so i can recover. lol. but nothing really happened today. me and ange went taning toghter then went to get some food and get lee. her dumbass walked out yet again. lol. nothing new. i went to school baked after smokeing in a record 2 mins. lol. so im gunna eat dinner and chill online for awile. bye*

2004-04-28T18:21:00.000-07:00

hi. today was really odd. i woke up at like 10aM and went taning all by myself. then me and ange talked for awile on the phone and we made plans to go taning again when i got out of school. so he and mikey picked me up and we went. ha! i look so mexican its not even funny. lol. i will fit in just fine with all the other fake tans in syracuse tho. lol. gotta love the beds. hmm. im going to bed around 10pM. i so need the sleep. its 9:30pM as of now. and im gunna be in bed by 10. who knows when im going to fall asleep. it was good to see the angela today, it made me happy in my pants. lol. we watched the boys play basketball at the park. ohhh.. i love hot sweaty boys! so im gunna go get redy for bed, ahh, i love say that this early.. :) goodnight all <3

2004-04-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

[edit]just threw up! fuck taning, its not worth it[/edit]
i just got home from total tan. holy crap that place was PACKED! i did a full 12 mins and when i got done and walked outside i felt extreamly light headed and i had to sit down on an ice cold bench.. it was weird. i walked home and realized that i left over $1,300 in jewerly in the taning bed. FUCK ME IN THE ASS! so thank god Alina went in the same bed i did and she returned it to the front desk. i would be so upset if i lost any of those pieces.. they mean so much to me. all in all i had a good day. i picked mikey up after school as i always do and we went to my house, smoked, ate dinner, and chilled for awile. lee took me, rose, and mikey up to the hospital to visit meagan. aww! shes doing so good. shes always in good spirts tho.. lol. i sucked dick in the elevator! that was one of my life long goals. you should try it! lol. tonight im suposed to chill with everyone at my house but i really dont feel like it so i might say fuck it and be asleep by midnight. that would be uber good, but im shure it wont happen. haha. i never get to bed early anymore. my skin burns.. is that normal?? i dont know. hmm. before i head to florida i need to go and buy small nipple rings because i showed my mom what i have been wearing (1 fucking inch rings) and she said that she hated them and we had to get new ones before she even thought about me going shirt-less at the beach, ahhh, how i miss the beach~! lol. so im scared that wile im gone poor pookie will be hella lonely all by herself. and im not shure about ange watching her because it will be a bitch to cart her whole cage over there. hmm. i dont know what im gunna do. i need food really bad, well im gunna go eat and shower and get redy for the night.. i will post tomarrow. nighty nighty! :)

2004-04-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

ha. im so stoned. it seems to be that all i do is smoke weed and chill.. well its kinda true. when i get outa school i pick up the mikey, come here, smoke, chill, suck his dick, smoke some more, and then just chill out until he has to leave. then i chill with alina and sara and them for awile. thats my normal day these days. i like it that way tho. lol, but i have some homework to do so i can be a good student for once. ha! yea rite.. well im off to the books. goodnight!

2004-04-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

who gets $40 for doing nothing?? i do!! haha! im not gunna say anything here because that would make me Rose. but i think you get the point.. so im just sitting here doing nothing. i cleaned my room and pookies cage and i still have to vacume the house a bit before i head to school.. i hate school so very much. last night mikey and lee came over and chilled for awile. haha! i got a day off if ya know what i mean ;) after they left i chilled and smoked by myself like i always do at night. then i went and picked mikey up at like 1aM after he just got outa bed.. yupp.. bed.. and we went and did dave. omg! at last the bastard got what was comming to him. so me and mikey came here and smoked for awile, then i drove him home at like 3aM. i was so retarted, i should not have drove but im fine so whatever i guess.. well im gunna get a move on and get whatever shit i have to get done done so i can relax before i go to fucking class.. i will post later. <3

2004-04-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

so look at this. im gunna be gone for a week or so and i dont know if i will have the internet or not so i threw up this layout that i did awile ago.. there will be no content until i get back.. anyways, today was beat i slept the day away once again. im really starting to hate that. omfg! debbie made my day/month/year!! shes so awsome. she came over and said she had something for me. when i opened the box i saw a diamond band ring! omg! im in love....ima put some pics up tonight. well im gunna go eat dinner and wait for mikey. i will post later. <3

2004-04-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

i feel weird. i havent been in the best of moods lately.. my head cant stop its retarted thinking.. grr. at least im getting outa here and heading for florida for a week or so.. god i cant wait to see my cousin! i miss her so fucking much dude!! haha. but anyways, its time for matthew to get a nap. im fucking up daves car tonight so i need some rest b4 i go.. i will post later if im awake. <3

2004-04-22T14:33:00.000-07:00

mikey and lee are here.. were tokeing.... i will post some more later tonight when i have some time..
thanks mikey ;)

2004-04-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

i feel like compleat and urtter shit on a stick
Ok, so i feel like shit today. im so sick its not even funny.. my day was spent cleaning my bedroom and sitting online. i slept alot to.. mikey came over for a little wile, he just left.. aww, he hates me now. lol. hes sober and i dont know what he thinks about me anymore. i dont know man. shits just fucked up.. i called ange and she sounds like shes in tears. damn, shes really sick. so am i but shes so much worse. i need to eat something soon. i havent been able to eat or hold anything down all freakin day. so im gunna go eat a pop tart and then run to the bathroom like someone with an eating disorder.. lol. well, im gunna. bye*

2004-04-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

whoa. happy 420 everyone.. it was pretty good, not as good as last years but none the less still pretty good. poor ange was extreamly sick all day so she was in hell. i hung out with cheeb unit all day and then went to school. when i came home i walked and met mikey and lee half way down bear road and came back to my house to smoke more pot seeing as tho it was 420. i bought 3 grams and they were gone before 7pM. thats fucked up. but anyways, me, mikey, and lee came home and chilled on my bed for awile. god, let me tell you how awsome it feels to be in bed with a hot guy. i love it. im so thankful that mikey let me lay with him(all over him). i was and still am sick(thanks ange!!) so it was pretty cool to have some comfort seeing as tho i have no boyfriend or no lover to do so. god i wish i could be with mikey. i wish! ha, that kid could have anyone he desires so why would he be with little 'ole me? theres no reason for him to want me.. im not hot, im moody, and im a stoner.. what good am i to him? huh?? no really?? someone tell me.. ugg. i just seem to be going crazy in my own way.. whatever. nothing is going to bring me down anymore. hell, ive mastered the "art" of haveing "meaning-less" sex with someone and not getting attached. i told mikey that i cant keep doing what im doing because sooner or later im gunna fall for him again. and everyone knows that when i fall for someone, i fall hard and flat on my face. lol. well im home from school today because im ill. so i will be online all day.. happy 421! lol. bye*

2004-04-19T19:19:00.000-07:00

omg omg omg! thats all i have to say about that.. today was a really good day! ange and tim came over early in the afternoon and my aunt stopped by to show us her new job. the ice cream truck driver!! lol. i shit a brick when i saw her driveing down the road in that beat up truck.. but we went down to the city to get tweed then we parked in so long ass airport road and smoked then i went to school. after everyone chilled on my roof and smoked.. we went back to the city to by MORE weed then ange dropped us off here and we smoked. and mikey, oh lord. i dont know anymore man. he was thinking about some stuff last night wile he was in bed and now he thinks he has a crush on me..?.. this is what i have wanted for so long, and its rite in my reach.. but who knows, maybe hes just so fucked up he cant think correctly.. i hope he likes me. i wish. i wish alot.. hmmm> i dont know. it would be so perfect in my eyes tho. ange and tim are going to be getting back toghter and if me and mikey did end up becoming something the summer would fucking rock my socks off!! i doubt it tho. mikey still thinks im that same person i was back when we first dated, but ive changed.. so ange called me and ima talk to her. so bye*

2004-04-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

this week has been nothing short of amazeing
every day this week has a differnt story to tell. i have broken every law the town of syracuse and my parents have. i have been a bitch. i was with angela, mikey, lee, and tim the whole break. and i loved every fucking min. of it. it was the best days of our lives and i dont take back anything! lol. i will not move my fucking hippo mikey! lol. i love the lee. im so happy everyday was so complety awsome in it own little fucked up way. some of us got some booty, i wish i got some! lol. how could u be mad at your fuck buddy tim says? lol hes such a dork, but you have to love a kid that talks like a nig when hes whiter then my cock! lol. and mikey, lol, whats not to love about him. :) oh lord. i dont know. about that ? lee asked me.. im not so shure about that one.. but whatever. i will see what happens. so yea, all in all my week rocked. i was so fucked up each and every day. we all were pretty retarted. i came to realize that we spent at least $100-$150 dollars.. thats pretty bad ass! lol. hey, its alot of money for us poor kids. lol. but it like 2aM and no1 is online so i think im going to burn and crash soon. i need my sleep, i have 3 essays to finish in the morning. ugg! goodnight. love to the cheeb UNIT! lol. goodnight*

2004-04-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

well well kids. im alive.. yea, this past week i have not been around. i was all to fucked up to sit down and type.. this week was the best spring break ever! no problems what so ever!! ahh! i love it so much :) :) todays sunday and ange and tim took off to camp without cheeb*UNIT so they could "be alone" lol, have fun ange ;) so mikeys doing something with his mom..(?) so that leaves me alone with the skittled lee. fun! lol. yea, its just me and lee today.. yay. oh how i loved the old days.. but i have to get dressed and do something with my life.. im so board sometimes, but at the same time i love not haveing anything to do. lol, i have to get redy, bye..

2004-04-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

hi. today was my sisters 14th birthday. :) yay for her. we went out to dinner and stuff. it was fun. my day was spent cleaning my house(includeing my fucking celing fan!) and watching tv. i dont have anyone anomore. wait, i sound like someone. fuck that, i have people. they just dont like me anymore. or at least thats how it feels sometimes. i dont know tho... things have been pretty good for the most part. even tho i just put up this bullshit front that im "happy" but in reality im not. im not happy anymore and it sucks.. it sucks real bad.. but anyways, after dinner i was gunna get a ride over to anges. but shes sleeping so i came home and now im doing nothing. i have no drugs so i guess its just gunna be a normal night in my house. im going to shower and just chill until im redy for bed. to me these days bed time is like 10pM. i dont talk on the phone like i used to soo i just sleep. :) but im gunna stay online for a bit then just do my own thing. i might post some more later if i feel like it.. ?
--new subject~
this is Kurt. Kurt is a very very hot gay boy that lives in liverpool. i want kurt. i want him real bad. what to do what to do?? haha. the worst part is is that i met him at my sisters birthday dinner.. haha. i took his pic and then he came up to me. :) ahh, i love my life sometime. :):)

2004-04-11T18:02:00.000-07:00

hihihi! i have alot of energy rite now :) i love being this awake. well today was pretty fucking cool. i stayed in until about 4pM when i went to my grandmas house to eat easter dinner and what not, then ange mikey and lee picked me up from there and we got the rachel and came here and smoked some easter weed. fun. this morning i was somewhat pissed because someone lied to me. someone that i consider to be very close to me. and that someone should not do it again, i could care less where you are. hell, i knew where you were anyways. but to say your showering, come on? lol. but anyways, we chilled here for awile and mikey and rachel left with some matt kid they know.. oooo! i know a secret! yay* lol. and its a good one to.. haha. but im going to find something to keep me busy until i decide to ass out. bye

2004-04-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

whoa big daddy! lol. its like 9pM and everyone just left. happy easter to all!! lol. i added some pictures from today. go here to see them :)

2004-04-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

im so fucking fed up.. i really am. i have been hanging out with the same people for like a month. ange, lee, mikey... im not saying im sick of them at all. there fucking awsome. but what i did in the prosess of bonding more with them sucks. i compleatly ditched all my friends.. MY gunit. my crew. i ditched stephine, alina, rachel, mitch, and eric. i dropped them like you drop change. and thats fucked up. when i got out of hillbrook i let go of sarah and taco. i dint wanna, but jp got in the way and i just cant deal with his dumbass. so now who do i have? i have hippo lee, 1-800-mikey, and deeep throutin ange :) whatever, dude, there great. i have fun when im with them, and thats all that matters. but at the same time, when mikey and ange go and do something without me, what do i do? nothing! i have no1 to do anything with like i used to. the problem here is that i cant "mix" my friends. they cant be in the same room toghter. come on, think about it. mitch with ange, or ange with kyrstin?? lol. that would be very amuseing, but no. it would be like putting 2 betta fish toghter. one would end up dieing so to speak.. i think i need to re-contact my #1 crew. my fucking gunit! lol.. the REP '04's.. maybe this weekend i will or something. i know on thursday me, ange, mikey, and tim are going to camp for the day/night. i cant wait. its gunna be so much fun. i miss camp :( that place brings so many thoughts to my head. laura and me on the blow up matress in the lake in the middle of no where. haha! that was the best summer of my life. and im bound and dertimed to make this one 10x better! but thursday night should be fun. well its easter sunday. happy easter. i have to get my ass in gear and get going for the day.. bye*

2004-04-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

2 new sets of pictures in Softcore Porn. :)

2004-04-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

i, matthew stephen wixson, need a mother fucking job like mikey needs sex. ok, i have almost no money, and the money i do get i spend on retarted shit or smoke it all. i dont care about that, i care that i use all my money. if i had a job, i could buy drugs, and still have spending money for other stuff. i could balance all that shit out. god... i need to turn 16 soon. like really soon. my birthday is in may. may 5th, but im going to be in frorida until the 8th. damit all~ i really wanted to have a 16th birthday party, like in the tent or something?? that would rock! but today was pretty uhh, fun to say the least. are plans got all fucked up, but it turned out to be a fucking awsome day!! we all had so much fun. im gunna post about it in the 3x journal.. i dont think i should write it here. . but im going to call miss angela and then 3way lee or something.. haha, i have weed for the next couple days!! ahh!! lol. bye :)

2004-04-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

ok. so im going to angelas dads house soon.. oh lord. this is gunna be fun :) posting later..

2004-04-08T17:47:00.000-07:00

ok. mikey and angela just left my house.. today was fun to say the least. ange ran out of school and got lee, then they came and got me and my bottles.. we returned bottles and got some food.. ange dropped me off at school and i was there until 4pM when my mom came and got me. now, nance and dave came over to my house today. my mom told dave she doesent want to hear anymore of his fucking crap. those were her exact words.. lol.. i hate that family, not lee, but her mom and dad and brothers.. i feel so sorry for their poor animals.. aww :( i hate dave and nance sooo fucking much. anyways, ange and lee picked up mikey on the way to my house. :) that made me somewhat happy. i stole some weed from my mom and we smoked a bowl.. we were all pretty messed up.. im tripping now sooo? lol.. but after i ate dinner we all got in anges car and went to get some fast food.. and god for bid matthew is gone for more then an 1/2 hour.. my mom is a c u n t ! i cant take her anymore, she keeps getting to me and pissing me off.. whatever, i can deal with her.. bye*

2004-04-08T06:52:00.000-07:00

i myself just have to say that the internet is an extreamly fucked up place. a few days ago i came across a website of a 21 year old boy, and a 14 year old boy. the site "casey & dew TV" portrays these to guys on webcam and video 24/7 and some pictures are added almost everyday. the pages say that they are to gay guys living toghter and dateing and such. now, i have no problem with underage sex, as long as you both say yes or whatever. what i do have a problem with is the fact that they are running a "mini porn" site. the 14 year old even has a pink laptop fund! now who would donate to that. not the average 18-20 year old gay man, but the 40 and 50 year old perverts that wanna get in his tight ass! and i must say. that 14 year old is fucking hot, like uber mouth watering hot. but still, its totally wrong and irrmoral to be doing what they are doing.
then this morning i was looking around the net when i found yet another underage run website. this time of a 12 year old. im not even gunna post the link, its fucking disturbing. the website features 3 gallerys of his feet, his boxers, his nipples, and his underdevolped cock(if you can even call it that).. looking at that made me feel sick. and wrong. ok, im done ranting now.. it just scares me to know that those sites are out there.. you know the world is fucked up when you can buy USED BOXERS for $100 on e-bay!

2004-04-07T17:36:00.000-07:00

[edit]new layout in pictures section... at last :)[/edit]

2004-04-07T17:01:00.000-07:00

i am so fucking retarted. today was pretty fucking beat! i got up really late and went to school. as soon as i got out ange picked me up and we went to go see laura and the baby!!<3 omg, she is so fucking cute and just cute! :) im so proud of my lala! now shes gunna go home and toke a big one! but i came home, and i smoked some pot. now im here doing jack shit. haha! friday i guess me, ange, lee, mikey, and tim are going to anges dads house to toke. now their only buying like 60 bucks worth witch is like half an ounce.. im not quite shure if thats gunna be alot between 5 people. i know i bought an ounce once and it only lasted ME 3 days.. sooo? idk. but whatever, it will be hella fun to chill and smoke with everyone. :) much love. i wanted to put the pics of laura and everyone up on the site, but i left the fucking cam in anges car. im getting it soon so the will be up in a day or so. fun huh? ima go, i think im going to be working on a new layout for the picture site soon. maybe tonight? i have nothing better to do with my time. cause ya know. im a worthless piece of SHIT!! hahaha! lol. bye*

2004-04-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

new pictures added :) at last ;)

2004-04-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

JUST woke up.. i want to die. i feel like total shit! damn drugs. NEVER AGAIN! ya rite, i will be drinking more later. or maybe not... idk. just someone kill me. i have more then an ass load of homework that i need to do and i need to clean this dump for my mom. dispite me being sick, she still tells me to bust ass. wtf? grr.

2004-04-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

ok. so today was fun. i woke up so fucking early. i had a drs. appt. and then i came home and cleaned and did some work. i went to school as always fucked up.. higher then a freakin kyte.. nothing new. lol. when i got home me and ange went to the pet store and the dollar store for some skittles. on our way home we got lee and came back to my house. we hung gay porn in anges car and cleaned it up a bit. we came inside and chilled for a bit. then we had the bright idea to scrape my new bowl and smoke under the covers. we did. it was fucking awsome. shoties all around. ha, when we pulled the blanket off us we looked around and became BAKED! we had reached retartation!! lol, :) but now im tripping so ima go to bed. its time for that. i love my bed. its sexxy, hell, i want sex in my bed god damit!!!! hard rough ass sex! now! lol. ;) but why would a princess what that??.

2004-04-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

some people do some very fucked up shit. just look here and youll know what im talking about?? who would do that? yes, they are very uber hot and i just wanna bend them over my desk and have my way with them, but come one, that poor watermelon?? aww..

2004-04-05T18:15:00.000-07:00

lol. im in a somewhat good mood. im just sitting here doing nothing. mikey came over for a bit when i got out of school. :) that was.. fun. my dad drove him home and now im here.. i have a stupid drs. appt. tomm. at like 8am. damn! oh, and lee had her little brother joey pee in a bottle for me so now i can pass my drug test and keep smokeing.. :) yayness! i truely love smokeing bud. it relaxes me and puts me at ease. i have been smokeing for awile now.. fun huh? its like why bother even trying to teach an old dog new tricks? not gunna happen if my life depend on it.. lol.. ange can drive soon. in like 2 days or something. i think she gunna go to ns for one more full day and then drop out or just not go. haha. me and her are gunna be high school drop outs at the age of 17. lol. oh well, half of america drops out and gets their GED every year.. but im gunna go, im on the phone with lee rite now. she has to drop off piss for me. lol.. goodnight all :)

2004-04-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

ahh! shit son! i just woke up not even 20 mins ago.. its like 1pm. god fucking damnit! i have to go to school @ 1:30pm! fuckers.. whatever. im high. nothing all that new has happened. i sat in last night with lee and ange.. i was pretty messed up all night. all three of us stayed awake until like 4am. or at least i went to bed at that time. ange said she was staying awake all night and then going to school. crazy bitch! shes gunna die being there half dead. lol. sucks to be her. i wanna chill with alot of people in one place soon. so in other words i wanna have a big ass party. hmm.. maybe soon?? i hope, i think everyone needs a party rite about now. ;) grr, i have to go get redy for school.. i have to "look nice" because im going for job. appts also.. lol, i took out my labret (sucks) and did an orbital eyebrow piercing with a CBR.. it looks so fucking awsome :) im glad it came out so good. im gunna post some pics later.

2004-04-04T15:51:00.000-07:00

what the fuck? why do people have to act older and think they know more about people and the world? when you dont go to normal school(even tho you think home schooling makes up for something), when you hardly get out of your house, or when you try and act 21 by talking older and being more cautious about the things you should be doing at their age. but come on people, you have to admit, everyone tries in some way to act older then they really are. fuck, kids are running out left and right to get some sort of piercing when there only 12. what the fuck is that about?? or being over tattooed at the tender age of 14! the world has gone to hell. and i hate it when people try to give advice about something they have never gone through. people that dont do jack shit should not talk big shit and say they know alot about something when they dont. and im not even gunna get started on how people change. different ages change at different times. learn that. im gunna go now/.

2004-04-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

punch me in my cooter!

2004-04-04T12:23:00.000-07:00

hi. i woke up today around noon. it felt wicked good to sleep that late. last night mikey, lee, and ange came over. of course we smoked to much weed. and me and lee drank some liquid skittles. ;) lol.. all in all it was a good time. we just chilled and did nothing. wait, we went to the pet store and i bought my 3 hampsters a new wheel and some more food. little bastards, there too cute! so its like 3pm. i forgot to set my fucking clock back so ive been thinking its and hour eailer then it really is. im dumb. i wanna make my way to the mall today. i have to return there fucking gay ass pants i bought yesterday. damn gay pants, how the fuck do guys wear them? they look super hot and stuff, but come on, your balls DO need to breath damit! lol.. ange and lee are comming with me and then were comming back here. i think, im not shure yet. i know my mom is cooking this big dinner and stuff, and it smells really good, but i have to go to the mall one way or another today. and if not the mall, i wanna do something else. and its sunday so everything closes early. damn sudays, you cant even buy beer till noon here on sunday. my mom hates that! lol. im going now. bye*

2004-04-02T21:29:00.000-08:00

new layout. now time for bed. hella busy day!

2004-04-01T08:30:00.000-08:00

yesss! dave was rite, everytime i get in troble with girls i get off and they get in troble! haha! dumbfuck!! i hate that man. but i had court this morning at 10:30am. i got so 'effin lucky! man, the DA is a cunt rag, but everything went perfectly. im in no troble what so ever. and im only on PINS until im 16, witch in a month i will be!! ahh! im so happy and so lucky.. anyways, mikey is now able to take the gangster kitten! yay for mikey and his new pussy. he can have it on tuesday or wed., im not shure yet. but nonetheless he can have it. if he wasent gunna take it i was gunna keep him.. but whatever.. im happy gangster has a good home. lol. yes, a good home with a pot head. lol - j/p. but im on the phone with the angela, shes calling her mom and seeing if she can have the car so we can go job hunting today for awile. yay, job=money, money=good!! i still havent discovered where that 10 bucks went. hmm.. im not guite shure, i was pretty fuckered up. lol... i wanna chill with mikey tonight or something. im shure he wants to see his gangster pussy! and i wanna buy some pot or something. maybe, maybe not.. who knows. but im gunna go get undressed. im in extreamly tight dress pants and a button up shit. lol, i hate this shit. bye*

2004-03-31T15:25:00.000-08:00

hi! my name is CORN! lol. yea, hi. my day has been pretty slow. i sat around all this morning in a huge hoodie and boxers. i felt good to just site and do nothing. i got around to getting dressed around 1ish. went to school, came home, smoked more weed. and now im here, doing nothing. the weed i have i wanted to smoke with mikey, but nope. mr. mikey cant come out and play.. lol. i think hes upset about not being able to take the kitty. dude, gangster is the cutest fucking kitten ever.. no, really, hes so fucking cute. i just wanna hug him and sqeez him. lol.. you can see gangster the kitty here. god damn, his moms a c u n t ! lol. but anyways, i wanna go someplace this weekend. maybe this shitty city or something?? ahh, i dont know.. well im gunna go for a walk and stuff. call me if you want.

2004-03-30T17:49:00.000-08:00

yay!!! i got what i have been waiting for!
ok, mikey came over tonight.. we chilled and watched some TV and stuff.. we ate dinner with my mom and sister and my drugs just started to kick in.. haha! lol im so fucked up rite now. im gunna go before i say something i might regret..

2004-03-30T09:42:00.000-08:00

well well well.. look whos alive! haha! last night was really good.. everyone had alot of fun, and some of us could not even feel anything ;) but hey, its all good.. i got some money today.. i have to pay back a few people, so that leaves me with pretty much nothing.. like maybe 20 bucks outa $50.. oh well, money comes and goes. but tonight i wanna get skittles or something.. i just dont wanna be at my house tonight.. i dont think i can go to mikeys, and i dont know about angela.. i know i can geta ride, but i still am not shure.. i just know i wanna trip! and not by myself either.. hey mikey, wanna take some and be gone for 3 days?? haha! funn stuff.. i added some more pictures from last night. that third one there is kinda cute.. haha! cute, i just said a penis is cute.. well it kinda is.. most of them are icky and ugly and stuff, but i guess that ones somewhat cute.. lol.. im gunna go now. schools in an hour or so... :)

2004-03-29T19:21:00.000-08:00

i can now say that i have see and done everything.. my life is complete.. haha! tonight was so much fun.. we smoked way to much weed and yea, were all pretty fucking stoned ass retarted! mikey and lee came over first, then ange and nasty ass brian came over. i had weed and then mikey bought some more.. i cant belive what i did tonight! but hey, whatever.. blame it on the highness, rite? im might not even remember tomarrow.. lol! but yes, i had fun tonight.. ange was tripping and high, so when she got home she assed out.. im not shure about lee and mikey, i just dropped them off.. well see.. oMG! i had to sit in lees fucking driveway wile my dad talked to dave.. and of corse im geeking out because hes so stupid.. and im stoned! hes such a dumb fucking asshole. haha! "my knees, i can kneel anymore.." dumb-fuck! anyways, i have to wake up early tomarrow... i have haveing shrink appts. madd early. oh well, whatever. im going to get some sleep.. i have alot of shit to clean to.. my room is trashed>not good! goodnight :)

2004-03-29T07:01:00.000-08:00

ok, yes my chest piercing is infected, but i dont wanna take it out! im in love with it. haveing my nipples pierced is one thing, but this is right between them and it evens things out.. i have been soaking it 3 times a day and still, nothing. i dont know. i hope it wont start to reject! damn homie. piercing it was a bitch to.. i guess i will wait and see what happens. on a better note, im getting my tattoo on my back covered pretty soon. i drew up some things and i think i know what im going with.. it should be pain-less seeing as tho im going to a shop, rather then brian. he uses fucking sewing needles and goes wicked deep.. ugg, i learned my leson with that!

2004-03-27T17:58:00.000-08:00

oh yes! bed is the best.. i cant wait to hit the sheets and sleep! well im going to be leaving early in the morning, so i will post when i get home around 9ish. goodnight :) oh, mikey, i hope your somewhat ok.. lol, remember, its gunna be 3 more days until your normal! call me if you want.

2004-03-27T15:55:00.000-08:00

holy long ass mother fucking day. i woke up so early this morning. me and my dad did a ton of running around.. i had to get a haircut, go buy dress shoes, undershirts, a belt, and some other stuff.. i hate jewish wedings! when i came home aroud 2pm i went to sleep and woke up at like 4pm.. i needed that so very much. now tonight im not quite shure as to what im going to do. i wanna chill with mikey, but who knows how thats gunna work out. i think i might just smoke also.. or maybe not. who knows or cares. but if i got weed, i would have some for tomm. and i would be "saved" from my odd family..[?] well im going now. i have more running around to do and stuff.. gotta get this damn tattoo drawn out and stuff.

2004-03-27T05:54:00.000-08:00

holy fucking kittys cruzeing around the wixson home... these extreamly cute kids are becoming very ballsy. they run around the house like lee walks the streets. lol.. everywhere you step you see a kitten.. haha, maybe we will keep like 5 and then my house would smell like piss and be nasty.. no, no, no, that wont happen.. my parents are leaving in a bit to go shopping for the wedding tomarrow. im somewhat looking forward to that.. but wile there gone this morning i really wanna take my dads car out.. i think i wanna go to price chopper and use the coin star thingy so i can get some extra cash on me.. i have no money what so ever. i stupidly spent it last night.. arrggg! whatever, i will get more some how some way, i always do.. im getting a hair cut today. thank god because im starting to look like a wild beastly shrub.. lol.. its wicked long.. last night mikey, lee, and ange came over.. we did like nothing! we sat in my room watching gay porn wile mikey rubbed my leg.. lol, fun stuff!! i drank a bottle of cough med. and i was pretty trashed. ha! i saw mikeys left nut for like the 1,000th time.. ange got picked up around 10pm, and mikey and lee got brought home shortly after. when i got home i stayed awake until like 2am. i never do that, i just could not move from my computer desk.. i was glued, drugs often do that kinda thing to you.. well im about to take this car and go do my shit.. i will write later :)

2004-03-26T15:43:00.000-08:00

FYI- the word "mikey" has been said here 42 times.
so hi. i am so extreamly sleepy rite now. im talking on the phone with mr. mikey. but we just hung up.. today was fun. ange and lee walked outa school early so they came here and we chilled all day. omg, my mom made me clean like a crazy person all day today. i did more then shes done a fucking week and i better get a damn reward for my work! we walked up to the pet store and got 3 hampsters. 2 of them are wicked nice, and one is the biggest dickhead ever. he is wicked mean to any human or anything that comes in contact with him. im taking him back and getting a new one because i cant deal with a mean animal. he bit me twice and yea, thats not cool at all. bobby and sandy are hear for dinner.. funn stuff. ange and lee left awile ago and there comming back after im done with dinner. i think mikey is comming over later also. im gunna go eat dinner and stuff. i think i will write some more later tonight when im board. oh yea, click the side link on the top. i added more pics.
*now theres 45 "mikeys" here*

2004-03-25T14:36:00.000-08:00

well hi. at last, a new layout! i like it lots. stars are sexxy. well today kinda sucked major ass! i had more services to attend this morning. dude, it was so sad. i have never seen a family flip out the way they did. kim even clung to the casket wile it was being lowered in to ground. i felt very bad for them. i got home around noon and talked to ange on the phone for a few hours like i do everyday. i think ange is becoming the new lee. no, maybe not. i dont know tho, lee pisses me off in ways no other person can, but she also understands me like no1 else can. [?] anyways, i went to school @ 2pm. my mom drove me because i wanted to miss my bus and not go, but that dint work out like i wanted it to. i got out and came home, ate some food and now im here doing nothing. holy shit, mikey is retarted!!!! he is taking acid for his first time tomm. night. and to make things worse hes doing at his house with rachel. him nor her have any clue what there getting themselvs into. hell, i may be 15 years old, but i have done every fucking drug in the book and i think i know what im talking about when i say dont do it.. but as always no1 wants to listen to dumb fuck matt.. whatever. i dont care anymore. im going tho.. i have shit to do...

2004-03-24T07:43:00.000-08:00

death is such a awful thing. and yet it so extreamly beautyful, if someone is going through extream pain and what not they should leave the world. its better off that way. and when they leave they leave behind a family and friends that loved them very much. the world is filled with hate, crime, and death. that will never change. well today is calling hours for my second grandmother Ganet. im really dreading going. everyone loved her so much. she just had this drawing light that made her different from everyone else. she cared for her family and mine like no1 ever has. even my blood family dint help us like she did. she would be there for me when i was sad, she would talk to me about all the bullshit i went through.. and now i dont have her anymore. i dont have my outlet, and it truely sucks. todays services are going to be awful. i just can think how everyone is going to be. i know that Ganet was not scared to die, and she did not want us to cry or mourn her passing, but thats so hard not to do. how cant you break down and cry when you miss someone so much. hell, i cryed when my fucking hampster died. i can remember how everyone was when my grandfather died. we all were crying and very upset. i can just picture how were going to be today. shes going to be missed very much. last night her grandaughter brandi, my sisters best friend was here. when i saw her i felt so sorry for her. i just walked up and gave her the biggest hug. i cant take this anymore. things cant get worse. well, they can, but they wont. today and tomarrow are for her. and only her. well i have to get showered and stuff. we have to outa here by noon. i will post later if im in the mood. call me and cheer me up :) much thanks to all the people that have been helping us through this time. bye*

2004-03-23T18:01:00.000-08:00

im on the phone with ange and jon FADA! i swear to god i think im going to pee my pants. the always make me crack up. i kinda put my other site to good use. click on the "free porn" link on the side bar to see what i have done.. but anyways, im board so ima finish up on the phone and then eat. bye :)

2004-03-23T13:52:00.000-08:00

i have another website that has been open for some time now. i closed it awile ago and now i want to re-open it. i dont know what kind of site it should be. give me some ideas when you talk to me.

2004-03-23T06:46:00.000-08:00

ha! no more icky black layout! tis should be up for awile.. anyways, i have been doing nothing this whole week. i have been so extreamly lazy it makes me sick. i sit around the house all day and then go to school @ 2pm. when i get home i sit some more and talk on the phone. thats my life. i need to get out there and find other things to do with my time. like a fucking JOB!! i need one so bad, and my 16th birthday is soon whitch means a job, and a fucking permit. i cant wait. but yea, tomarrow is the calling hours for genet and i worried that when i go i will just break down. im really gunna miss her "fuck you's" when im walking down the street in the summer. thats one thing that i just cant do without. her family and mine are a wreak and theres nothing i can really say or do to help them. the services are being held at sears and middleton from 2-4pm, and then from 7-10pm, im going to be at bolth. then this weekend i have my jewish aunts stupid weding to go to. ugg> i hate them. im most likely just going to buy a nice bottle of vodca and drink myself stupid in front of my entire family. that should be a joy! well im going to drive up to the store and get a milkshake, i crave them now. i will post some more later. :)

2004-03-22T18:23:00.000-08:00

ok. today and last night have been really really bad.. lee went to the justice center aka jail last night. shes out now, but it was really bad haveing her gone, even for one night. then this morning my mom called me and told me that my naborhood grandmother died. she has been really sick with cancer the past month, and she just went this morning. my whole family is upset over this. i have been crying and just moody all day. i hope everything is gunna be ok. well im not in the mood to write much tonight. so im going to go shower and relax.

2004-03-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

well, im opening another site, me, lee, and angela want to blog toghter.. so here we are PoorWhiteKids so read and enjoy

2004-03-21T16:49:00.000-08:00

well hihihi! i havent been home to post this whole weekend! and what a great weekend it has been!!friday night i stayed at amys house. we went out drinking and endend up staying in a nasty ass trailor park somewhere outside of fulton.. guys, this place had no everything. it even has no toilet!! we slept on the floor with madd pillows and balnkets. we were house warming our friend matts new house. eww, he better fix that place up soon or it will cave in! then i went home on saturday and me, lee, and ange went to anges dads house in the city. OMG! i had so much fun there. we found a huge gay porn collection that the guy that lived there before them left. i now have way more porn then i need!! lol. i love porn! then today, sunday, i finished pookies cage and she hates it!! wtf? its not fair. i worked hard on that thing and she doesent even like it. then lee came and go me and we went to kmart to get skittles and i bought a new gold ring. its just a band but i love it! we ran into mikey and adrina and that was nice:) then i came home and ate dinner and now im tripping my little ass off. haha! mike knapik wants to have sex with me again... maybe i will, maybe i wont, who knows? it will piss alex off, and i want her pissed so bad. so im gunna most likey do it soon... well ima go find something to do with the rest of the night, i might just take the car out and just drive to get some stress out...?bye

2004-03-19T06:31:00.000-08:00

huh? its been awile sinse i have posted.. lately i have been really bitchy towards everyone. im just flat out sick of peoples bullshit lies and such. i still cant belive that my "best friend" lied to my face. i hate her for that. lee needs to get her life toghter. i dont wanna see anything bad happen to her, but at the same time i do because maybe it would teach her a much needed lesson on life. she thinks everyones out to get her, and its not true. yes, her dad is a dick, but still, you cant blame everything on one person. well anyways, today i had a PO appt. what the fuck? i dint even get drug tested! i drank so much water and dint even get tested. its a good thing tho. my mom is at the bank taking out money and then we are going around doing stuff for the rest of the day. well i need to sleep some more before going out. bye*

2004-03-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

let me just say that i am in love with this!! its so weird, and yet so awsome.. lol> someone had a bunch of time on their hands.. anyways, last night i went over to my grandparents house for saint pats day dinner. that was enjoyable to say the least. haha, i heard my grandma say dick. she never talks dirrty and i loved hearing a swear word come out of her mouth. my mom left early because she had to work and she needed to get some sleep before she went. so me and my dad stuck around for awile and then he drove me over to anges house. we chilled and stole a huge road cone for her bedroom. ange and her mom drove me home around 10pm. i was so messed up, when i was at my grandmas house i took like 20 pain killers from the meds she has. so needless to say i thought i was floating. so when i got home i tottaly assed out and went to bed madd early. im so not used to being in bed before 1am. but it felt good to get alot of sleep, my body needed it. so today im home until 2pm, then i have school :( whatever, it could be worse. today im also drinking at least 5 gallons of water and 2 gallons of green tea. i have a bullshit drug test on friday and my system needs to be somewhat clean by then. haha> that gives me one single day. maybe i will pass, maybe i wont, who cares anyways. lol. so here i sit with tea in hand. i need to clean my house and get redy for the day. i will post later.

2004-03-16T17:12:00.000-08:00

damn, damn, damn!! today it started snowing around 11am, whitch really sucks. and to makes things worse, i woke up feeling like utter shit! i cant swallow anything because it kills, and my nose is running like a white boy on crack.. what do i do? meds? yea, that would be nice, but god for bid matthew takes any cold meds.. my mom belives in healing the body with time and love, not pills.. i hate her for that. but yea, i went to school @ 2pm and got home at 5pm, ate dinner, did some homework, and then crashed for an hour.. and low and behold when i woke up i felt even worse then i did all day.. please, someone just shoot me! so tonight me and mikey wanna go out and chill for a bit, but im somewhat scared to drive in the snow. i have never done it before and im not that shure i can. so it should be very eventfull to say the least. our goal for tonight is to get some form of med to fuck us up. i wanna go to price chopper and then come back to my house. but who knows what mikey will wanna do...(?).. i just dont wanna have the car gone for to long, and i should be inside getting better, not freezing my ass off in a car for an hour. thats not my kinda night anymore. i like home, i like being home and just chilling.. this friday im staying the night at amys house :) were buying some beer and drinking for the first time sinse last winter. last winter was the last time me and amy got drunk toghter so it should be fun. then on saturday or sunday me, ange, and whoever else are going to her dads house to chill and be left alone for a day. that will be awsome to have a whole house to ourselves... i have a drug test friday so no pot for matthew for the rest of the week :( poor me.. lol> well whatever, i need a shower, bye for now..

2004-03-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

i never take these tests things, but this one look somewhat different..

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results

Warmth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Liveliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	14%
Social Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Artistic Interests	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Abstractness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Introversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|	18%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Independence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Tension	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Take Free 16pf based Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

2004-03-16T06:33:00.000-08:00

CORN! hi hi hi. i got up about 20 mins ago because fucking desire called me asking if i wanted to smoke with her. i turned the offer down. :( well last night i stayed home and did just about nothing, like thats new. today wile my mom is sleeping im taking her car and going to get lee and ange when they run outta school. im not in the posting mood so yea, bye. oh yea, happy birthday kritta :)

2004-03-15T09:16:00.000-08:00

as i was sitting awake last night i was thinking about beauty. yes, beauty. i truely belive that everyone is beautyful in their own way. and i think that i have the most beautyful friends out there. just look at Adriana for example. shes so classic and timeless. wile ange and dee have an edge that you cant quite put your finger on. lee is pretty, when she wants to be, and as for rachel and stehphine, well their just the barbie sexxy. they are the girls everyone stares at in the mall, not because their pierced or have weird hair coulors, but because they are sex. and sex is america. adriana, dee, ange, lee, and myself all have piercings, and yes, we do have alot of sex appeal. less open people look at us and think kinky or S&M, and that doesent bother us at all. everyone is beautyful in their own right. everyone of my friends has their own style, weather it be slutty, laid back, rocker, punk, freak, or a little of everything. varity is the spice of life. but getting back to beauty. i dont think people should change themselvs unless its for themselvs. body mods, tats, and piercings are a very causual way of expressing ourselvs, and nobody can force a needle through your tonuge, so you must want to change for yourself, not for the rest of the world. im in 9th grade, and i see people chnageing themselvs everyday. and to be honest it makes me quite sick. your style is you, and if your style keeps changeing who are you? are you nice, preppy, or are you a mean silent killer kid? be yourselvs people, dont change because you look different. stay you, true to yourself and true to what you belive in. dont become "main steam" and flow with the rest of the world. everyone is different, and thats the way it should be. weather your a classic beauty like my sexxy bitch, and edgy hottie, or a punk rock whore, stay yourselvs. piercings, hair changes, and tats are a fairly simple way of being you, but never modify your body in a way that you might wanna change latter down the road. i mean, look at me, i have 1/2 inch plugs in my ears. and im not gunna lie, maybe later down the road i might take them out and look somewhat "normal". but to me i am normal. im me, and thats not gunna chnage for anyone. people say beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?> well if thats true then why is everyone being something they are not?? well idk, i have written more then i wanted, bye for now :)

2004-03-14T07:26:00.000-08:00

oh yea baby :) last night me and lee went over to anges house for awile. we road the scotters, haha, those things are fucking great! and her crazy grandmother was screaming at us for awile because we were fucked up and honking the loud ass horns non-stop for like 10 minuts.. then luch came and got us and took us to micky d's for some munches and then we ended up at my house.. omg, the prank calls we made to lees house were so fucking funny!!! we had dee call and tell the family that animal control was comming over to check on their dog and cats.. and they think its for real! so we got to hear DAVE and nance bitch for awile. not tonight lee, not tonight!!! haha! lol, well i dont know. i just woke up and im eating a bowl or rice crispy treats because im dumb and smoke pot at 9am.. oh well, whatever. but yea, im going to home depot soon so i can get some shit for pookies cage. holy shit the new cage is fucking HUGE> well ima go shower and get dressed :):) bye!

2004-03-12T21:30:00.000-08:00

so yea, me and my mom went to at least 10 different places today. busy as fuck.. we bought so much shit for my room, the house, back yard, ext.... im on the phone with ange and im sleepy, so goodnight :)

2004-03-12T06:21:00.000-08:00

i just got outa bed and my mom left to go pick up debbie and go tanning. i guess were doing a ton of shit today. i know we have to go to home depot to get like a billion floor tiles for the upstairs hallway, go buy the food for the weekend, and i wanna go to skin funk and get plastic rings for my concks. sinse i have been home from hillbrook they are acting up really bad. their all crusty and shit. it took forever to heal when i first got them done, and now i have to go through it all over again! grr! and plastic heals 100x better in my body then steal. i healed my belly button and my nipple with plastic, so i guess its worth a shot. then i know were gunna go out to lunch and most likely the pet store. then maybe some shopping in the mall or something. i dont know. i need some new cloths and shoes.. shoes more then clothing.. so thats my day.. then when it gets dark out im going to find something to do. something without pot.. maybe i will buy a bottle of 151 and drink with everyone somewhere. or maybe some shrooms? they both sound really good.. well ima shower and shit so when my mom gets home we can leave..

2004-03-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

when darkness falls the kids tend to come out and play..
lee showed up at my house extreamly fucked out of her mind. so im felling pretty shitty being sober or whatever. so i get the idea to clean my moms bowl and smoke the resin. when ever i smoke that shit i get stoned ass retarted.. needless to say, i did, i still am.. and me and lee snorted a proproxy and yea. im intoxicated.. lol. one last weekend of drugs will get me through summer :) drugs are not everything, they were, but now im different. most of you are thinking yea rite, he says this shit all the time. but man, im changeing :):):)

2004-03-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

holy slave to the needle! i kinda went crazy on my nipples like 10 mins ago.. i pierced the unpiercible nipple and it turned out really good!! and i re-did my left verticle nipple.. now i have 3 nipple piercings! yay for me! lol> i have to shower and eat. goodbye

2004-03-11T07:27:00.000-08:00

good morning. it was so very sweet to sleep in my own bed last night. my 2 smaller dogs also took up half the bed, but still, it was hella good :) i was looking over the site and i think its time for a new layout. something fun. something summery? god i crave summer! camp, hot guys, beer, warmth, driveing with all 4 windowns down.. the best things in the world happen in summer ;) my mom informed me that were leaving for florida the day before my birthday (may 5th).. so im somewhat upset that i dont get to party my ass off when i turn 16. i was thinking about haveing a blowout the day before we leave, but then i would be on a plane for 3 hours hungover and most likely still drunk form the night b4. thats not a good idea.. last night ange and lee came over and we chilled for a bit. it was good to see them. i missed them alot. im getting back into the swing of things and it feels really good. i have school at 2pm today. not a big deal, i get home around 5ish and chill at my house until i find something to do i guess... i have fridays off so that kicks ass! and my mommy will be home with me so im shure we will find some retarted thing to do. folllowing the trend, i looked back in my old blogs to see what i was like a few years back. i was stupid. i still am, but i try not to show it. i hurt less people back then and i was somewhat nice. now im just me, matthew. and thats the way i intend on keeping it. anyways, i have to get over to lauras house asap. i have some baby gifts for her that have been sitting all wrapped up in my room for like 2 weeks. so it will be good to see her. i havent seen her sinse summer. summer changes people, sometimes for the worst and most of the time for the better. all i know is this summer is going to be one i will never forget. partys, camp, beaching it with some beer in a pepsi can ;), my house and pool partys! god damn man, i cant wait any longer. and the 53* weather here in syracuse is a fucking tease! i swear, the day it hits 70 im going to be the kid you see running nude up and down his street.. lol> fun times for me. well its like 11am. i have to clean my house and do some other pointless bullshit here, so i will post some later :) bye*

2004-03-10T17:39:00.000-08:00

so im home. home sweet home is damn fucking rite! im never getting busted again as long as i live. and im not fucking around with anyone/anything anymore. it might sound really weird but im ready to change and get myself toghter. ive come to realize that drugs are not my life. im more then that. im a great person with alot to offer the world. im bright, normally happy, somewhat attractive. im me! and im content with that! so im not smokeing pot anymore. im shure i will smoke again, but not 24/7 like im used to. pot is pot. not god. infact i might even start growing to make a little extra cash. and sinse im not tokeing on my own stash, i have no problem. no problem until i get busted by the cops. thats another thing. no more police in matts life. i hate cops, i hate them alot. and why bring them on myself when i can just be myself and be a good kid. for the past 3 years or so i was trying to be something i was not. well i am, but not that hard. i was the mean kid in the corner of the room. hell, i still am, my image sticks i guess. people are still scared to approch me because of the way i look or my attitude. i still need to work on my attitude. and without pot its gunna be hard, but i can do, hell, i can do anything if i really need to. and i need to adjust my bitching alot. i am a naturally not nice person, but for awile i was just plain heartless. i tryed to ruin lives of others, hurting them by route of mouth, or beating the shit out of them. and im just not heartless. i have a heart, and its not black. its gray ;) i do have the ability to care for love people. people i choose tho. i cant just meet new people and click rite off the bat. im just not like that. i am very good at making friends, but for me to really like a person takes alot. im not evil, im just not nice. lol... well i dont know. im on the phone with lee rite now and i think ima go get something to eat and just chill the night away :) being home is great and i intend on staying put for awile :) goodnight and madd love :)

2004-03-10T09:39:00.000-08:00

im home from hillbrook. yes, i am ok. i am alive, somewhat healthy. somewhat depressed, but VERY happy to be home. that place blows ass more then anything.. well im haveing a little welcome home party tonight. anyone wanna come see me? you should damit! well i have school so i have to get redy. i will post more later tonight :)